Snowy my beti maan. I love you and I will always love you and miss you.
I loved u snowy while you breathed and I will always love you no matter what. I remember the day Dr. Ausaf brought you to our house in a small cardboard box (which Muhammad says was in October 2001). You were so small and so cute we all instantly fell in love with you. Mummy was against keeping you but she agreed eventually.
The first night Muhammad had to give you his hand for you to nibble as you were crying and yelping for your mother. You would drink milk from tiny saucers which came with the mosquito repellant coils.
You were playful from the very start. You would nibble on our big toe for fun and we would let you do so despite the pain of your small but sharp teeth but used a blanket on top of our feet for our protection. You even nibbled on Mummy’s index finger during tahashudd while praying once.
You grew fast and it was hard to keep you in a sheltered safe environment as you kept on finding ways to escape the boundaries set by us. You were very flexible and would bend your neck really far back for which I said that you were compact. Mummy said that you were ugly as you did not have thick fur and your ears drooped unlike Guybrush but you proved her wrong and grew thick white fur and your ears got pointed and erect just like him.
I remember the one occasion when you trapped your leash aka a naara around the black table and were yelping and crying for help at night. And when I tried to set you free you nibbled on me with your sharp small teeth. I bore the pain, felt angry but knew that I had to help you cuz you were and are my baby.
As you grew you did a lot of naughty things. You would blow thru your nose at the corner of the wall and eventually the wall broke. You nibbled on my desk and the computer desk and our desks will forever remain this way to remind us of you.
You would pass stools and then your feces would disappear before we had a chance to clean it up making us forever wonder whether you ate it up cuz while we never saw you do it then but it cudn’t have disappeared on its own. You would kill cockroaches and eat them up making Taskeen so happy.
Guybrush initially would dominate you but we protected you from him until you were old enough to handle him. You grew tall and went from thin to healthy and even a bit heavy. With adulthood came your bipolar mania when you would get angry for no reason and growl fiercely at times making us too scared to touch you. We gave you Serenace a few times on Dr. Ausaf’s advice but stopped as we were worried about the side effects. I remember Babar got angry at you and beat you one day for this but after that he never did it again and we would have never let him. You almost bit Muhammad for nose tapping when he came home last year. But this year you were really happy to see him and wagged your tail, jumped at him and licked him because you loved him.
We hoped you and Guybrush will have babies but you two never did. I remember how excited Mummy was and we all got even Mummy took your big belly due to fat as a pregnancy.
You were very loving and I loved you soooooooooo much. When I would give you food you would never go for the food but instead you would wag your tail from side to side, jump at me and lick me (except when you were in your bipolar mood). You would get jealous of Guybrush and would force your way thru to try to get the tawajjuh (cozy cuddly rubbing) from me and not let Guybrush get much.
I brought a new collar and leash for you both from USA but even though it was a collar for small dogs you somehow you would take your head out of it and run free. So I had to shift you back to your old collar but recently after your last bath you managed to get out of your old collar as well aur mujhay tumhara patta kaie daffa bandhana para (tie your collar several times). I had brought doggie chewing bones for you two but neither of you even touched them. Maybe you just went for Halal meat. I had been planning on buying you a new even smaller collar from USA this summer but now you are no longer with me.
You loved Dr. Ausaf dearly as he would take you out on walks every Sunday. For years you two went to aziz bhatti park but then to our own back garden. You would get so excited when dr. ausaf would come and wud bark and wag your tail wildly.
You were always very faithful and loyal to us and even when you would run away you would come back on your own.
You were our door bell and security alarm as you would bark whenever a stranger approached our house even before he or she would ring the doorbell. I would order food from outside for delivery and you would let me know that the delivery man was here before he rang the doorbell so that the delivery man wudn’t ring the wrong bell and mummy wudnt find out that I had ordered out.
You even took over Guybrush’s job of barking and wud scare the crows away for him. But like Guybrush you also hated taking baths.
Snowy you were completely healthy when I gave you a bath 5 days before you died. I noticed that, unlike Guybrush, you had ticks and thus bought a tick powder the next day for both of you but forgot to apply it on both of you that day. The next day when Muhammad went to give you two your food he said that you looked sick. Then I went with him to fill up your paani kay bartan. Muhammad tried to touch you but you growled showing that you were in your bipolar mood making me think that you were alright. I was therefore unable to apply the tick powder on you and only applied it on Guybrush
On your last day (which was the next day) when I went to give you two food you were again lying on side looking at me but not wagging and I thought that you were in your bipolar mood again and didn’t touch you. But now I know you were not. You were too sick to go around wagging and licking me like you always did and I made the mistake responsible for your death of assuming you being bipolar at that time. When around an hour later when we were about to leave for Papa’s birthday dinner I noticed you were lying near your darwaza with your eyes closed and your mouth open. I had a bad gut feeling so instead of just assuming you were sleeping and leaving for the dinner, I called you by your names several times in a louder and louder voice but you did not respond. Considering that you were in your bipolar mood I broke a stem from a nearby plant and stroked you to wake you up but you didn’t. I opened the door and picked you up but you didn’t respond and your neck swayed back loosely but you were warm and made me think you were alive. Mummy said to throw some cold water at you but that didn’t work. I gave you CPR, couldn’t find a heartbeat with my steth, couldn’t hear or feel you breathe but I still had hope cuz you were warm. I searched for Dr. Isma’s card, tried calling but no one picked up. We took you in the car with Muhammad driving, and me and Taskeen holding you. We gave you CPR countless times and when we were tired we switched. We called everyone possible but to no avail. I noticed you had some blood around your perivulvar region but didn’t know whether that was the normal blood or the reason for your condition. I began to lose hope as I knew that times between CPRs would probably have caused brain damage. When your paws got cold I knew you had left us but I preferred to be in denial and kept clinging to the tiny hope that you will somehow survive. Main nay tum pay hisaar bhi bandha (prayed for your recovery) but nothing worked. We went all the way to Defence but Dr. Isma was closed. We then planned on going to Dr. Pirzada’s clinic to Burns Road but eventually stopped on the way at a human hospital where the doctor was really rude to us and didn’t examine Snowy. May he go to Hell and never be a successful doctor. We went to another doctor, who checked your pupillary reflex on your left eye several times, tried to listen to you heartbeat on your left and then right chest and then said ‘I am sorry she is no more’. Maybe maybe if I had listened to Taskeen and taken you to a human hospital as the first thing you might have been alive today. Again my fault.
I walked out of that emergency clinic with tears in my eyes. I held you in my arms throughout the journey back home and kissed you several times on and off, and asked you for your forgiveness for not realizing you were sick earlier when you could have been saved. Snowy please forgive me for not giving you baths as often as I should have and for not taking you out on walks. I’m sorry that I didn’t let you jump on me for most of my life and not letting you lick me and trying to shoo you away when you did. But I’m glad that for the past few weeks I had stopped doing this as I was not praying anyway and would give you tawajjuh every time I went to give you food and you were not in your bipolar mood.
I took photos of you for the last time after your death not as disrespect but because I don’t want to lose you with my memory with the passage of time. Muhammad and I buried you in our peechay ka garden in a white chaadar as your kafan. Guybrush is all alone now and is trying to adjust with barking on his own to scare away the crows from his food but I’m not sure if he knows that you are gone.
I hope your death wasn’t painful and that it was a natural death. You were too young to die. You were to turn 5 this October and you died even before that. But I know Allah has His reasons which I am not wise enough to understand.
I have been crying every now and then because I really miss you and I know that I will never see you again in my life for sure. With passing time I know I won’t cry when I talk about you but know it for sure you will always remain in my heart. There can never be another beti maan for me. You were, are and will always remain the one and only Snowy. You are irreplaceable. You are priceless. You are my baby. I can never forget your innocent, sad, puppy dog eyes when you would be in your loving mood and looked at me with so much love while wagging your tail from side to side. I will inshaAllah see you again in heaven. I have to and then you will be with me forever and ever and there will be no parting whatsoever then.
I love you Snowy. I do, I really do.
(The follwing is what I used to say to Snowy when I wanted to show my affection to her)
Aankhon ka noor ho tum, baby suroor ho tum, masti main tum jhoom rahee ho (You are the light of my eyes, you are the baby of Suroor (my mother), you are jumping wild in excitement)
Maan ho tum. Meri maan ho tum. Beti maan ho tum. (You are a mother. You are my mother. You are a daugher mother) I love you. Snuggly kiss, Snuggly kiss, Snuggly kiss. Snuggly kiss, Snuggly kiss. Snuggly kiss, Snuggly kiss.
Mashallah babies mashallah. Inshallah tum donon bahut lambi umar pao gaye. (May God give you both a long life)
I hope this holds true atleast for Guybrush.
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